:44:01
Andy,
I owe you an apology, man.
:44:03
I wasn't very nice
to you for the past
two-and-a-half years.
:44:07
You were nice to me.
:44:08
No, I was... I thought
you were really boring and...
:44:11
I kind of thought
you were a serial killer.
:44:13
[Laughs]
:44:15
I'm not joking.
:44:16
Hey!
Sorry. Shoot. Sorry, sorry.
:44:19
Don't worry. There's a lot of
padding in these.
:44:22
I could hurl it
off the balcony,
it would be fine.
:44:24
Yeah. It will be fine.
We couldn't break this...
:44:26
if we tried.
No problem.
:44:27
Look, you shouldn't listen
to Dave and Jay, okay?
:44:29
Those guys are crazy.
You should listen to me, okay?
:44:32
Look, there is a hot-ass girl
who works right there.
:44:36
There she is,
in the bookstore.
You should ask her out, man.
:44:41
Something wrong
with her underpants.
:44:43
(Cal)
Yeah, they're not in my mouth.
:44:44
You know, I kind of...
:44:47
like the woman
from the eBay store.
:44:50
That's great, but...
:44:51
you're not gonna
get with anyone...
:44:52
unless you play
the odds on this, man.
:44:54
You need to plant
a lot of seeds.
:44:56
It's like this.
When I was growing pot,
I realized...
:45:00
that the more seeds
I planted...
Thank you.
:45:03
...the more pot
I could ultimately smoke.
:45:06
I think I have all the advice
that I can handle right now.
:45:09
Don't get bitter.
:45:10
I'm not bitter.
I almost lost a nipple, okay?
:45:13
That was Jay's idea, okay?
:45:15
And I wasn't going to
say anything,
but waxing your chest is...
:45:18
like the gayest thing
you could possibly do, okay?
:45:20
Look at me.
Looks are not important.
Really look at me.
:45:24
I am ugly as fuck
by traditional standards...
:45:27
but I get with women.
:45:29
Aren't you curious
as to how that's possible?
:45:32
I am not ugly as fuck.
:45:34
I didn't say you were
ugly as...
:45:36
Well, you implied it.
Okay.
:45:37
It doesn't matter if
you're ugly as fuck
or you're ugly as shit.
:45:40
It's about talking to women,
and I know how to do that...
:45:43
because I observe,
because I am a novelist.
:45:47
What? You never
told me that before.
:45:49
That's because I am not
an arrogant prick, Andy.
:45:52
Okay? The problem
most men have is...
:45:55
they don't know
how to talk to women.
:45:56
You know what my problem is?
I am not interesting.