:45:00
that the more seeds
I planted...
Thank you.
:45:03
...the more pot
I could ultimately smoke.
:45:06
I think I have all the advice
that I can handle right now.
:45:09
Don't get bitter.
:45:10
I'm not bitter.
I almost lost a nipple, okay?
:45:13
That was Jay's idea, okay?
:45:15
And I wasn't going to
say anything,
but waxing your chest is...
:45:18
like the gayest thing
you could possibly do, okay?
:45:20
Look at me.
Looks are not important.
Really look at me.
:45:24
I am ugly as fuck
by traditional standards...
:45:27
but I get with women.
:45:29
Aren't you curious
as to how that's possible?
:45:32
I am not ugly as fuck.
:45:34
I didn't say you were
ugly as...
:45:36
Well, you implied it.
Okay.
:45:37
It doesn't matter if
you're ugly as fuck
or you're ugly as shit.
:45:40
It's about talking to women,
and I know how to do that...
:45:43
because I observe,
because I am a novelist.
:45:47
What? You never
told me that before.
:45:49
That's because I am not
an arrogant prick, Andy.
:45:52
Okay? The problem
most men have is...
:45:55
they don't know
how to talk to women.
:45:56
You know what my problem is?
I am not interesting.
:46:00
What am I supposed to say?
"I went to magic camp?"
:46:03
"I'm an accomplished
ventriloquist?"
:46:05
"I am a seventh-degree
imperial yo-yo master."
:46:08
[Exclaims]
:46:09
Do me, yo-yo master.
:46:12
I want you to do me,
'cause you're the yo-yo guy.
:46:16
Are you done? Listen.
:46:17
The problem
most men have is...
:46:19
they just plain straight up
have no clue
how to talk to women.
:46:23
Just ask a question, okay?
That's it.
:46:26
Because women do not care
about what you have to say...
:46:29
at all anyway, you know.
:46:31
And all they want to do
is talk about themselves.
:46:33
So you're just gonna
let them do that.
:46:35
Okay? So remember.
:46:36
Questions, be cool,
and be kind of a dick.
:46:40
Here, be David Caruso
in Jade.
:46:43
Okay. I know exactly
what you're talking about.
:46:45
You do. That's good.
:46:49
(Cal)
There she is.
:46:53
Go plant that seed, man.
:46:55
Plant it with your finger.