The 40 Year Old Virgin
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1:01:00
So, shit, man. Fuck it.
1:01:03
You shouldn't even be
hanging out with this pervert.

1:01:05
I don't hang out with him.
I work with him and that's it.

1:01:07
I tried to introduce him
to a few nice people...

1:01:09
he made a fool of himself.
1:01:10
I don't mess with him, baby.
That's not me.

1:01:12
You should keep your ho
on a leash.

1:01:14
Bro, I can't let you...
Hey.

1:01:16
I can't let you be talking
to my woman like that, dawg.

1:01:18
Know what I'm saying?
Bitch is running wild, man.

1:01:20
You miss that ass?
That's the ass of a free man.

1:01:23
That ass is going out tonight,
maybe to a club.

1:01:26
Maybe to a night club.
1:01:28
Hey, Andy...
1:01:29
take a look at your pal.
Oh, my God.

1:01:31
Yeah, he's performing
a public colonoscopy.

1:01:34
Isn't that sweet?
1:01:36
I'm gonna send
David home for the day...

1:01:37
and you're gonna
fill in for him.

1:01:38
What? Selling things?
You got that right.

1:01:40
I don't think
that's a good idea.

1:01:41
And you're gonna have to
talk to people, too.

1:01:43
I know that's a frightening
concept to you...

1:01:45
but I think you can handle it.
1:01:46
So get out there
and start selling some shit.

1:01:48
...thing for Amy.
1:01:49
Hold it.
Check it out.

1:01:51
(David)
I miss her.

1:01:53
**[music playing]
1:01:55
Dude, the floor's
the ultimate aphrodisiac.

1:01:57
All you got to do
is go make your pick now.

1:01:59
Come on, man.
Okay.

1:02:02
And you could act
a little enthused about it.

1:02:04
Yeah.
1:02:07
(Jay)
That's right. That's right.
Gazelle in the pink top.

1:02:11
(Jay)
Oh, shit.
Hi.

1:02:13
(Andy)
Looks like you're
checking out digital cameras.

1:02:15
You know what, he ain't going
to do it willingly.

1:02:17
No. We need to, like,
really facilitate things
a bit more.

1:02:20
Yo, Andy.
(Andy)
Yeah.

1:02:22
What's up, dude?
This is Jay, man.

1:02:23
Hey, Jay.
1:02:25
I am throwing a party tonight.
1:02:26
It's gonna be real mellow,
just chilled up.

1:02:28
Now, you really
need to be there.

1:02:29
It's gonna be
really, really colorful.

1:02:32
Are you free?
1:02:34
Yeah, I think so.
1:02:36
That was a joke, man.
I know you're free.

1:02:38
I'm okay.
Gotta go, man.

1:02:40
All right, bye.
1:02:44
So, tell me, Montel...
1:02:46
why weren't we invited
to the party?
What are we, Al-Qaeda?

1:02:49
No, hold up.
1:02:50
No, no.
It's not that kind of party,
y'all.

1:02:53
You're not coming
to our fucking party either,
okay?

1:02:55
Fuck you, okay?
1:02:56
First of all,
it ain't that kind of party.

1:02:58
Go fuck a goat.
Yeah.


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