The 40 Year Old Virgin
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:29:01
It's bullshit.
Nobody buys stereo
at 10:00 in the morning.

:29:04
No, I understand.
:29:05
People buy stereo
between 6:00 and 8:00.

:29:08
Mmm-hmm.
:29:09
Rich men get off work,
then buy stereo.

:29:13
Right.
Not after fucking brunch.

:29:16
Okay.
Here's what we're gonna do.

:29:17
I'm going to give you
a couple of Jay's shifts.

:29:20
And then I'll give you
a couple of mine
and that way...

:29:23
we'll all be equal, okay.
Thank you, Andy.

:29:26
It's okay.
:29:28
You're a good man, Andy.
:29:31
By the way,
what date are you on, now?

:29:35
I think it's around 17.
:29:37
It's hard to tell what
actually constitutes a date,
though.

:29:40
Three to go. So that means
you're gonna have
sex in three days.

:29:45
Maybe, I might try
to space them out
a little bit.

:29:47
I'll pray for your cock.
Okay, thanks.

:29:50
Thanks. Thank you.
Have a good cocky.

:29:52
Trish is on the phone.
Here is a shock.

:29:55
Girlfriend with a problem.
Hello.

:29:57
(Marla)
I have done everything
but sex!

:30:00
I'm a woman, okay?
Deal with it!

:30:02
I'm gonna start
taking you back to church.

:30:04
We are gonna start
going to church.

:30:06
Hello?
(Marla)
You know what?

:30:08
What the hell
are you talking about?

:30:09
Oh, my God,
I cannot believe this.
Thank God you're here.

:30:12
Jesus Christ.
Marla locked herself
in the bathroom.

:30:15
What happened?
:30:16
She wants to go
to the family health clinic.

:30:18
She wants birth control.
But she's too young.

:30:20
I want to have sex
with my boyfriend!
But I can't, Mom!

:30:23
So, you want me
to take her?

:30:25
No, I don't want you
to take her.
Okay, all right.

:30:27
I want her to keep it
in her pants
until she gets to college.

:30:30
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
:30:31
"Keep it in my pants"?
:30:32
Okay, you didn't keep it
in your pants, Mom.

:30:35
I know. I don't want you
to make the same mistakes
as me, Marla.

:30:38
Mistakes? Okay,
so I was a mistake then.

:30:42
No, you're not a mistake.
Your sister was the mistake.

:30:46
Oh, my God!
:30:48
Her older sister, I mean,
she wasn't planned,
you know what I mean?

:30:51
Because I was such a...
Oh, God, you wanna run away,
don't you?

:30:54
No.
:30:55
You and your boyfriend
have sex all the time!

:30:58
Oh, my God!
Are you kidding?

:30:59
We never have sex.
Do we ever have sex?


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