The 40 Year Old Virgin
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:30:00
I'm a woman, okay?
Deal with it!

:30:02
I'm gonna start
taking you back to church.

:30:04
We are gonna start
going to church.

:30:06
Hello?
(Marla)
You know what?

:30:08
What the hell
are you talking about?

:30:09
Oh, my God,
I cannot believe this.
Thank God you're here.

:30:12
Jesus Christ.
Marla locked herself
in the bathroom.

:30:15
What happened?
:30:16
She wants to go
to the family health clinic.

:30:18
She wants birth control.
But she's too young.

:30:20
I want to have sex
with my boyfriend!
But I can't, Mom!

:30:23
So, you want me
to take her?

:30:25
No, I don't want you
to take her.
Okay, all right.

:30:27
I want her to keep it
in her pants
until she gets to college.

:30:30
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
:30:31
"Keep it in my pants"?
:30:32
Okay, you didn't keep it
in your pants, Mom.

:30:35
I know. I don't want you
to make the same mistakes
as me, Marla.

:30:38
Mistakes? Okay,
so I was a mistake then.

:30:42
No, you're not a mistake.
Your sister was the mistake.

:30:46
Oh, my God!
:30:48
Her older sister, I mean,
she wasn't planned,
you know what I mean?

:30:51
Because I was such a...
Oh, God, you wanna run away,
don't you?

:30:54
No.
:30:55
You and your boyfriend
have sex all the time!

:30:58
Oh, my God!
Are you kidding?

:30:59
We never have sex.
Do we ever have sex?

:31:01
No, we don't.
:31:03
What? Yes, you do!
:31:05
You're such a liar!
Why do you lie to me?

:31:08
Why?
:31:09
[Door slamming]
:31:10
[Muttering]
:31:12
I didn't hear anything
after "a liar."

:31:14
What did she say
after "a liar"?
She sounds like a tea kettle.

:31:17
Fuck you!
:31:19
[Crying]
:31:21
Maybe I should take her.
No, I don't think so.

:31:24
You know, a little information
never hurt anybody.

:31:40
Cool.
:31:42
Wow!
:31:46
Where do you put the penis?
:31:49
Oh, shit.

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