The 40 Year Old Virgin
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:36:01
I'll stay in my apartment.
Just getting baked?

:36:03
I want to be baked
the whole time.

:36:04
Watch TV,
I'll probably re-watch Gandhi.

:36:07
Gandhi baked is good.
Yes, isn't it?

:36:09
I always feel bad
when I watch it baked...

:36:11
'cause I get really hungry
and I'm eating a lot...

:36:13
and poor Gandhi is...
:36:14
fucking starving his ass off.
Starving, I know.

:36:16
**[music playing on TV]
:36:19
Sounds good.
Yeah.

:36:21
I'm going to take her
to capacity.
Are you okay with that?

:36:24
Give it a shot.
:36:25
Freak! Oh, yeah!
:36:29
Michael McDonald, man,
I haven't heard this in years.

:36:32
Yeah, I haven't heard it
in like 48 minutes.

:36:35
If I get the set,
will you throw in the DVD?

:36:37
You don't get the set.
I'll throw in the DVD.

:36:40
I'll take it.
:36:41
Really?
Yeah.

:36:44
Y'all want to see
something beautiful?
Come here.

:36:46
You want to see the most
beautiful thing in the world?
Check this out.

:36:50
This is my baby right here.
That's my baby's dick
right there.

:36:54
Looks like a poltergeist.
:36:56
That is his foot.
:36:57
Look at his dick.
That's not even four months.

:37:00
Extrapolate that.
:37:01
By the time he's 30,
what's gonna happen?

:37:04
Yo, Andy! Come check this out,
dawg.

:37:06
Is this the movie about babies
that are geniuses?

:37:09
No, this is my child, dude.
Jill is pregnant.

:37:11
That's yours?
(Jay)
Yeah.

:37:12
That's why she broke up
with me in the first place...

:37:14
'cause she just thought
that I wouldn't be
a good father...

:37:17
in light of the fact that
I'd be cheating on her
all the time.

:37:19
But she got over all that.
It's cool now.

:37:21
Congratulations, man.
That is great.

:37:23
We having
a party tonight, Andy...

:37:25
and I really want you
to be there, man.

:37:26
We celebrating and I
really, really want you
to be there.

:37:29
It looks like
the Doppler radar.

:37:32
Can you believe that?
:37:33
This child
ain't even four months old.

:37:34
He ain't four months old yet.
Look at what he's packing.

:37:37
Everybody dick looks big
on 60-inch TV.

:37:39
My sister's dick looks big
on TV, okay?

:37:43
Oh, my God,
this guy, Eric Gilliland...

:37:46
he has bought, like,
15 of these.
Really?

:37:49
Yeah, I think he likes
action figures even more
than you.

:37:52
That is impossible.
I think so.

:37:55
Andy, the way these things
are flying off your shelf...

:37:58
you know, I think you
could actually make like...


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