The 40 Year Old Virgin
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:41:01
Why don't you want
to have sex with me?

:41:03
Why not? Tell me.
You tell me the truth.

:41:05
Is it because I have a kid
who has a kid? Is that why?

:41:07
No, it's cool that
you're a grandmother.

:41:09
I love the fact
that you're a grandmother.

:41:11
Oh, God!
You are.
You're a hot grandma.

:41:13
Oh, my God!
:41:15
You are so mean! Get out!
:41:17
Okay, fine. Good!
Good, fine. You're gonna go.

:41:20
I didn't ask for any of this.
You asked for all of it, Andy.

:41:23
Okay. Great.
:41:26
[Door slamming]
:41:28
Okay.
:41:29
That's the way
you want it...

:41:31
that's the way
homie's gonna play it.

:41:35
Yeah. Truth be told.
:41:46
[Car horn blaring]
:41:51
**[hip-hop music playing]
:41:54
Baby, you better
enjoy yourself tonight...

:41:56
'cause once this baby's born,
you ain't going out again...

:41:59
till that baby is in college.
:42:00
Me?
Yeah.

:42:01
You the club rat. I'm not
the one that be going out.

:42:03
I'm not a club rat.
:42:05
You're gonna get up,
you march over there...

:42:08
and I want you
to hit on Bernadette now.

:42:11
Dude, I'm not gonna hit
on Bernadette.

:42:13
Yes, you are, man...
:42:14
'cause your depression
is boring me for one thing...

:42:17
and it's actually making me
a little depressed...

:42:19
which is then in turn
making me more depressed...

:42:21
that you're actually
affecting my mood.

:42:23
Look,
I'm not in any kind of place
to talk to a woman, all right?

:42:26
I'm just... I'm fragile.
:42:29
I hired her for you.
:42:30
I hired a 90-pound girl
to work in the stockroom
at Smart Tech...

:42:34
for you, okay?
:42:36
I should have hired
a 300-pound guy...

:42:37
who could lift
a 60-inch flat screen.

:42:39
But instead
I hired a hot girl...

:42:42
who can't lift an iPod
to bring you out of your funk.

:42:46
You hired her for me?
Yes.

:42:47
So will you go talk to her?
:42:49
Yeah, I'm meeting somebody.
:42:51
No.
:42:55
Did you just flick me
in the nuts?
No.

:42:58
Flicked you
in the fleshy patch
where your nuts used to be.


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