The 40 Year Old Virgin
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:42:00
Me?
Yeah.

:42:01
You the club rat. I'm not
the one that be going out.

:42:03
I'm not a club rat.
:42:05
You're gonna get up,
you march over there...

:42:08
and I want you
to hit on Bernadette now.

:42:11
Dude, I'm not gonna hit
on Bernadette.

:42:13
Yes, you are, man...
:42:14
'cause your depression
is boring me for one thing...

:42:17
and it's actually making me
a little depressed...

:42:19
which is then in turn
making me more depressed...

:42:21
that you're actually
affecting my mood.

:42:23
Look,
I'm not in any kind of place
to talk to a woman, all right?

:42:26
I'm just... I'm fragile.
:42:29
I hired her for you.
:42:30
I hired a 90-pound girl
to work in the stockroom
at Smart Tech...

:42:34
for you, okay?
:42:36
I should have hired
a 300-pound guy...

:42:37
who could lift
a 60-inch flat screen.

:42:39
But instead
I hired a hot girl...

:42:42
who can't lift an iPod
to bring you out of your funk.

:42:46
You hired her for me?
Yes.

:42:47
So will you go talk to her?
:42:49
Yeah, I'm meeting somebody.
:42:51
No.
:42:55
Did you just flick me
in the nuts?
No.

:42:58
Flicked you
in the fleshy patch
where your nuts used to be.

:43:01
[Groans]
:43:02
Quit flicking my balls, man.
:43:04
Okay, I'll stop
flicking your balls.

:43:06
But I'll start punching
your nuts.

:43:10
Oh!
:43:11
Okay.
:43:16
Well played, sir.
:43:18
Okay.
Thank you.

:43:19
No problem, man.
Go get 'em.

:43:22
Mooj, you done
see my son...

:43:24
you know his foot gonna be
bigger than this.

:43:26
If that baby looks Pakistani,
don't fucking look at me,
okay?

:43:29
I wouldn't mind.
You got good genes.
How old are you? What, 138?

:43:33
When your son is born,
is he already in parole?

:43:44
I need some poon.
:43:48
You guys were so right,
right from the beginning.

:43:51
I need
genital to genital connection
and that's all I need.

:43:56
You know, the thing
about relationships
is that they...


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