American Pie
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:03:00
[ Scoffs ] You've worn that shirt for,
like, three days in a row, man !

:03:03
Guys.
She said it.

:03:05
- Said what ? [ Chuckles ]
- She said she loves me.

:03:07
- Holy shit, dude ! The "L" word ?
- Oh, man !

:03:10
Cornell's not
that far from "U" of "M."

:03:12
Yeah, it's only,
like, seven hours.

:03:14
Oh, and you get
to drive across Canada.

:03:16
- Beautiful country.
- Whatever. It's doable.

:03:21
Wh-What we should
do today, in band.

:03:24
Instead of playing
our instruments regularly, we should play them backwards.

:03:28
- That'll be so funny !
- Yeah.

:03:30
-**-** [ Noodling ]
:03:34
No offense, but you're talking
about a post-high school, long-distance relationship.

:03:39
And you and Kevin
haven't even done it yet.

:03:41
That's not why
we're going out.

:03:43
What do you expect him to drive
to Cornell for ? Milk and cookies ?

:03:46
We're gonna have sex
when he's ready and I'm ready.

:03:49
It's got to be
completely perfect.

:03:51
I want the right time, the right moment,
the right place--

:03:54
Vicky, it's not
a space shuttle launch. It's sex.

:04:01
- Finch.
- Here's the man we are looking for.

:04:03
- Gentlemen.
- What's goin' on, buddy ?

:04:05
- Gentlemen.
- What's goin' on, buddy ?

:04:05
- Same ol'--
- [ Sighs ] Finch. You got the Latin homework ?

:04:09
Oh.
[ Speaks Latin, Chuckles ]

:04:15
It means, "My dog ate it."
It's Latin. It's a joke.

:04:17
- It's a Latin joke.
- Yeah, Latin. Just drink your coffee.

:04:22
- No, Jim, it's mochaccino.
- What ?

:04:24
What I'm drinking, it's mochaccino.
It's not coffee.

:04:27
[ Boy ] 'Nova !
:04:29
- [ Both Grunting ]
- What's up, dude ?

:04:31
You comin' to the party
tonight, Ozzie, you fuckface ?

:04:33
Uh, depends if my date
wants to stop by.

:04:35
- I'm workin' on somethin' new.
- I got an idea about something new.

:04:39
How about you guys
actually locate your dicks,

:04:41
remove the shrink-wrap
and fucking use them !

:04:44
Dude, it's gonna happen.
She's a college chick.

:04:48
[ Scoffs ] Oh, right.
I'll see you guys tonight.

:04:50
I'll look for you in the no-fucking
section. [ Mocking Laugh ]

:04:54
[ Self-Deprecating Chuckle ]
:04:56
[ Self-Deprecating Chuckle ]
:04:57
All right. I'm shooting for a
9:00 E.T.A. Beer in hand by five after.


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