:04:00
While you're singing your holiday tunes
:04:03
I'm acting like the town buffoon
:04:07
Whipping out my big, white, scary moon
:04:11
And blowing a beef your way
:04:14
I hate folks who think reindeer are cute
:04:18
To me they're just something to shoot
:04:21
I hate love
:04:23
I hate you
:04:25
I hate me
:04:29
Well, I'm a snowmobile-stealing
:04:31
No 'tis-the-season-feeling kind of guy
:04:36
This time of year sucks
So I take my nunchaks
:04:40
And make sure every snowman dies
:04:44
Believing in Santa's all wrong
:04:48
And Chanukah's eight nights too long
:04:51
I hate love
:04:52
I hate you
:04:54
I hate me
:04:56
Coming through.
:04:57
I hate love
:04:59
I hate you
:05:00
I hate me
:05:02
Davey Stone, you're nothing
but a delinquent!
:05:06
Stone, what the heck are we
going to do with you?
:05:09
l've sent you to reform school, the drunk
tank, the local psychiatric ward.
:05:13
Not one of those places has made you
change an ounce for the better.
:05:17
You used to be a good kid...
:05:18
...playing ball for the Jewish Community
Center, with the best shot ever seen.
:05:23
Your Honor, l still got a pretty good
jump shot. Let me show you.
:05:30
l'd hit a 3-pointer, but l'd
have to drop my pants...
:05:33
...and pop a thumb up my boo-boo.
:05:35
You leave me no choice. l'll really
have to crack down hard this time.
:05:40
Your Honor, if it pleases the court,
l'd like to interject for a moment.
:05:45
What the hell was that? Did anybody
hear a parakeet, or am l going crazy?
:05:49
No, Mr. Chang. lt's me, Whitey Duvall.
:05:52
And a happy first night of Chanukah
to you.
:05:55
l'm not Jewish.
:05:57
Neither am l, but that don't stop me
from enjoying a holiday.