:52:03
There's no incentive
to take care of a rental car...
:52:06
...because if you pay
the extra insurance...
:52:09
...you can total that rental car,
and they'll bring you another one.
:52:12
Always get the additional insurance.
They're like:
:52:15
"Would you like the additional coverage? "
I'm like, "Yes, I would.
:52:19
You got a Ford Fiesta
that's about to see more air time...
:52:22
...than a skateboard at the X Games."
:52:29
So welcome to our job. We feel
like we have the coolest job in the world.
:52:34
It's funny, because you get
to meet a lot of people backstage.
:52:37
When you're a comedian,
the number one thing people say to you:
:52:40
"Where do you come up with material? "
:52:42
The honest answer, at least for us, is...
:52:44
...the best stuff is not stuff you make up.
It's true stuff.
:52:48
That being said,
I have to share this story with you.
:52:51
Last year, I was hosting a show
for the children's hospital in Atlanta.
:52:55
A couple came up to me.
:52:57
The man said to me,
" I bet you done heard every redneck thing."
:53:01
I was thinking, "I've heard a lot of them."
But I love talking to folks.
:53:05
I said, "No. Go ahead."
:53:07
He said, "Well...
:53:09
...my wife and I decided if we ever had
the chance to meet you...
:53:13
...we had to tell you about the time
we were down at her family's house.
:53:17
While we were there, her brother
got his nipple bitten off by a beaver."
:53:29
I said, "You have my attention."
:53:33
It's kind of hard to walk away
from a story like that.
:53:37
You're almost required to say,
"How did that happen? "
:53:42
They were happy to share the whole tale.
:53:44
The brother and his buddy
were driving down the road...
:53:47
...and a beaver ran across the street.
They accidentally hit it.
:53:50
Then the beaver went down
into the ditch on the side of the road.
:53:53
So they decided they were going down
in the ditch to find this thing...
:53:57
...because they wanted
to take it to the taxidermist.