:53:01
I was thinking, "I've heard a lot of them."
But I love talking to folks.
:53:05
I said, "No. Go ahead."
:53:07
He said, "Well...
:53:09
...my wife and I decided if we ever had
the chance to meet you...
:53:13
...we had to tell you about the time
we were down at her family's house.
:53:17
While we were there, her brother
got his nipple bitten off by a beaver."
:53:29
I said, "You have my attention."
:53:33
It's kind of hard to walk away
from a story like that.
:53:37
You're almost required to say,
"How did that happen? "
:53:42
They were happy to share the whole tale.
:53:44
The brother and his buddy
were driving down the road...
:53:47
...and a beaver ran across the street.
They accidentally hit it.
:53:50
Then the beaver went down
into the ditch on the side of the road.
:53:53
So they decided they were going down
in the ditch to find this thing...
:53:57
...because they wanted
to take it to the taxidermist.
:54:01
We know how pretty they look
on a Thanksgiving dining room table...
:54:04
...just holding that turkey up.
:54:09
So he said he went down in the ditch.
He found the beaver.
:54:13
He picked it up by the tail.
:54:16
And he said, "Look at it.
It ain't cut up or bloody or nothing."
:54:22
Apparently, "nothing" is the word that
brings a beaver back to consciousness.
:54:28
At that point, the animal lurched out
and bit his nipple off.
:54:33
Did not bite it, bit it off.
:54:35
O-F-F, off. Bit it off.
:54:39
That is a new kind of hurt right there.
:54:42
And it is so rare,
I am at a loss for words.
:54:45
The only reply I could come up with, I said,
"l bet that is the only time in history...
:54:50
...the headline of the paper could include
the words "beaver" and "nipple"...
:54:54
...and nobody'd be offended by it.