1:10:02
"Mama, it is working so well.
1:10:05
Last night, I said, 'I'm hot.' And he got
out of bed and turned on the ceiling fan."
1:10:10
And I'm sure her mother said,
"Baby, I am so proud of you.
1:10:14
I'd put your daddy on the phone
and let you tell him...
1:10:16
...but I just said, 'I'm hungry.' And
he ran into town to get me something."
1:10:22
Guys, do you know why
they are able to train us?
1:10:25
They are smarter than us.
1:10:32
It ain't that big a deal.
1:10:35
That's saying you're smarter than
a creature that takes off its underwear...
1:10:38
...tries to grab them with its toes,
flip them in the air...
1:10:41
...and catch them with its hand.
1:10:43
You are smarter than that.
1:10:47
It is a good feeling when you catch them
on the first try, though.
1:10:51
Got my underpants, right there!
1:10:57
Women are smart,
and women keep men confused.
1:11:01
A lot of times, men and women can say
the exact same thing to each other...
1:11:06
...and get totally opposite responses.
1:11:08
A woman can say to a man:
1:11:11
" I'm not wearing any underwear."
1:11:13
The man's first thought is,
"All right!
1:11:16
Might get lucky."
1:11:18
But if a man says, "I'm not wearing
any underwear," her first thought is:
1:11:22
"Oh, no! I'm gonna have
to wash those pants twice."
1:11:34
And I've found from living
with all these women...
1:11:37
...men and women worry
about totally different stuff.
1:11:40
I wish I had a dime for every time
in 1 8 years of marriage...
1:11:43
...my wife has said, usually when
we're walking out of the house:
1:11:46
"How's my butt look? "
1:11:49
If you've been married longer than
1 0 seconds, you know the answer.
1:11:52
"Great!
1:11:54
It's so small I could barely see it
in this light."
1:11:59
Apparently, women put a lot of thought
into what their butts look like.