1:27:02
You have got to do some
"Here's your sign" jokes.
1:27:11
Thank you.
1:27:12
I had the great opportunity this year
to take my family to the Winter Olympics.
1:27:16
It was great being an American
and being in our home country.
1:27:19
We were renting a car up in Salt Lake City,
and it's got a ski rack on it.
1:27:23
We was putting the skis up in the rack.
1:27:26
The guy at the car next to me goes,
"You going skiing? "
1:27:30
I said, "Nope, we put them on top of the car
in case we flip over on an icy road.
1:27:35
Here's your sign."
1:27:43
This last year, I went elk hunting.
1:27:44
I got me a nice one, had it hung
on the den wall in the house.
1:27:48
My neighbor comes over and goes,
"Did you shoot that thing? "
1:27:51
I said, "Nope, he ran
through the wall and got stuck.
1:27:55
Here's your sign."
1:27:58
Tell them about the one when we did
the show in Buffalo. When they lost the--
1:28:03
Oh, God!
1:28:04
We did this show up in Buffalo, New York,
and we land at the airport.
1:28:08
We go to get our luggage,
and mine didn't show up, which happens.
1:28:12
So I go down to the lost luggage office
where everybody is in such a good mood.
1:28:17
Who applies for that job?
1:28:20
Who says,
"l wanna work in lost luggage? "
1:28:23
You don't have a good day.
1:28:25
That's like having a job emptying
Port-a-Potties. You'll catch crap all day.
1:28:31
That is beautiful.
Did you just make that up?
1:28:35
-It's beautiful.
-I like to use analogies in my show.
1:28:41
That's where they compare things.
1:28:53
"That's funny. I don't care who you are,
right there. That's funny, right there."