1:28:03
Oh, God!
1:28:04
We did this show up in Buffalo, New York,
and we land at the airport.
1:28:08
We go to get our luggage,
and mine didn't show up, which happens.
1:28:12
So I go down to the lost luggage office
where everybody is in such a good mood.
1:28:17
Who applies for that job?
1:28:20
Who says,
"l wanna work in lost luggage? "
1:28:23
You don't have a good day.
1:28:25
That's like having a job emptying
Port-a-Potties. You'll catch crap all day.
1:28:31
That is beautiful.
Did you just make that up?
1:28:35
-It's beautiful.
-I like to use analogies in my show.
1:28:41
That's where they compare things.
1:28:53
"That's funny. I don't care who you are,
right there. That's funny, right there."
1:29:07
So I'm trying to be nice to this woman
in the lost luggage office.
1:29:11
I said, "Excuse me."
She goes, "Can I help you? "
1:29:13
I said, "Yes, ma'am,
you lost my luggage."
1:29:16
She looked me right in the eye
and said, "Has your plane landed yet? "
1:29:19
Swear.
1:29:23
I said, "No, princess,
I'm having an out-of-body experience.
1:29:28
I'm just checking on it.
1:29:31
Here's your sign."
1:29:36
I hate to stop you,
but I've got one for you...
1:29:39
...and I know you have
so many of these things.
1:29:41
This happened to me last week. We're
in the process of remodeling our house.
1:29:46
We've been doing it for a while.
1:29:48
We have the painters in there.
They're putting sheets over the furniture.
1:29:52
And we have a regular,
up-against-the-wall piano.
1:29:55
Last week, one of the painters says to me,
" Is that y'all's piano? "